Silly little porkpie.

This is Porkchop. Porky for short.
This is what it says on her profile for the RP site I'm on:

Just your average spunky girl-next-door.
...That is, if your average spunky girl-next-door had a big fat alligator tail and pointy teeth.

She's
-bubbly
-huggable
-squishable
-squashable
-sweet as pie
-cute as a button
-the bee's knees
-the cat's pajamas
-hep to the jive.

But also
-annoying
-clumsy
-shallow
-unfocused
-sensitive
-lacking long-term goals
-prone to self-medication
-afraid of commitment
-overindulgent
-at times violent

GUH-GUH-GUH-GRAVER
[It's all glowsticks and kandii one minute and then BAM it's Bauhaus and black lace and poems about decaying souls.]

There you go.